another post

Having a little bit of a shitty day...AGAIN...

I just couldn't get up this morning cos it was so cold....luckily the sun is out, so i feel better---

but this flu---all week....just when I think I am getting better I feel tired...

two days of sickness...

not sure if I should sing tonite with the band --what to sing???

I have ripped some cd's from the library which is cool but not the music...

BOMSPASTIC by Britnney Spears is fucking crap to say the least...

Ministry of Sound 2006 sux

The Chris Isaak Album is good but FM monotonous @ times...

I still feel a little shitty---why I don't know---probably being sick for a couple of weeks...

I got Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness by Smashing Pumpkins which is good in parts, 1979 is ace, but overall the album is a little flat---which really is a little surprising

Once the weather warms up I will feel much better---

I think in someways i am better than ever, not so flippant..

so I still need a bit of work--more FAITH---gotta have a faith a faith a faith BABY...you know

anyway---I have this fear of rejection, i think it sorts of accumulates, u know, most people are pretty cruel, & u just need to be strong with people's attitude...

the sun has disappeared, so I feel shitty again...

I suppose I feel a little bit isolated & out-of-sync is that my fault????

Why should I have to adhere to a philosophy that i don't necessarily agree with....

that is the problem I think with most people is they are constantly willing to give up rights to suit their agenda of comfortability....

I just need to have faith with waiting for the right opportunity & then to take it up...It always seems that when I am ready, my opportunities aren't there & when I am not ready my opportunities are there....

a dark cloud wanders over....

"the way the rains pounds down hard is the way i feel in the inside"

not all the time anyway...just in moments of desperation, I think it is all part of Borderline Personality Disorder...which I am getting cured FAITH


don't need to get worked up, if you have faith, the opportunities will come when they present themselves....

that's enough ramblings for one day---

I try my best to not sing down the street---I do it away from public, but when you are blessed with the ability to sing why not...

I don't get any opportunities to sing apart from the shower so why not????

I just love singing & I don't want to be an idol...I mean, I am a musician, not a person who suffers from ADD....

so fuck all the people out there who need to conform to some bullshit rules...If i have a good voice & I want to sing for the pleasure of it...why not???

I'm sick & tired of being not able to do things rather than being able---It's like being put into a prison cell for the sole reason that you are blessed naturally with a gift---IT'S BULLSHIT!!!

Is that my fault???No---Call me arrogant or egotistical, well I don't think so---I know I can't really judge my own voice or musical ability, but I do get compliments...so I can't disregard that..


here I am drinking a chai tea & eating some cake...my sweet tooth & me...I know my ramblings are starting to become an excess...

I just hope I don't get fat from all this food...

i am really full on food...

too much eating---i must stop all these addictions...