last nite I performed on stage with a band @ Rockstar Karoke @ the huge Casino in Melbourne...
the venue was awesome & the band was terrific...
Rockstar Karaoke was very pro, & I felt very nervous...
I chose the second set which was probably wrong, my energy levels were bad because I was recovering from the flu, but I desperately wanted to perform...
I drank way too much which made my performance erratic, choppy & inconsistent, but then again, when u play with a band for the first time with no rehearsal it is not too easy...
I feel I can do a much better job...
Anyway my video of blister in the sun will be available for download, or streamed on youtube next week....
Apart from that, emotionally the performance made me value realistically @ what I am about & what I stand for...
I am not searching for fame & fortune but love technology & music..Even if I am not great, to be able to do all this is a buzz...
Doesn't everyone secretly want to be an actor, singer, writer or somebody famous @ times??
Lately I have been trying to reabsorb myself & develop relationships with people---it is hard @ times---but I realise u have to really value the friendships that are worthwhile, there is a lot of hard stuff going on in my life--but no different to most people...

another post

Having a little bit of a shitty day...AGAIN...

I just couldn't get up this morning cos it was so cold....luckily the sun is out, so i feel better---

but this flu---all week....just when I think I am getting better I feel tired...

two days of sickness...

not sure if I should sing tonite with the band --what to sing???

I have ripped some cd's from the library which is cool but not the music...

BOMSPASTIC by Britnney Spears is fucking crap to say the least...

Ministry of Sound 2006 sux

The Chris Isaak Album is good but FM monotonous @ times...

I still feel a little shitty---why I don't know---probably being sick for a couple of weeks...

I got Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness by Smashing Pumpkins which is good in parts, 1979 is ace, but overall the album is a little flat---which really is a little surprising

Once the weather warms up I will feel much better---

I think in someways i am better than ever, not so flippant..

so I still need a bit of work--more FAITH---gotta have a faith a faith a faith BABY...you know

anyway---I have this fear of rejection, i think it sorts of accumulates, u know, most people are pretty cruel, & u just need to be strong with people's attitude...

the sun has disappeared, so I feel shitty again...

I suppose I feel a little bit isolated & out-of-sync is that my fault????

Why should I have to adhere to a philosophy that i don't necessarily agree with....

that is the problem I think with most people is they are constantly willing to give up rights to suit their agenda of comfortability....

I just need to have faith with waiting for the right opportunity & then to take it up...It always seems that when I am ready, my opportunities aren't there & when I am not ready my opportunities are there....

a dark cloud wanders over....

"the way the rains pounds down hard is the way i feel in the inside"

not all the time anyway...just in moments of desperation, I think it is all part of Borderline Personality Disorder...which I am getting cured FAITH


don't need to get worked up, if you have faith, the opportunities will come when they present themselves....

that's enough ramblings for one day---

I try my best to not sing down the street---I do it away from public, but when you are blessed with the ability to sing why not...

I don't get any opportunities to sing apart from the shower so why not????

I just love singing & I don't want to be an idol...I mean, I am a musician, not a person who suffers from ADD....

so fuck all the people out there who need to conform to some bullshit rules...If i have a good voice & I want to sing for the pleasure of it...why not???

I'm sick & tired of being not able to do things rather than being able---It's like being put into a prison cell for the sole reason that you are blessed naturally with a gift---IT'S BULLSHIT!!!

Is that my fault???No---Call me arrogant or egotistical, well I don't think so---I know I can't really judge my own voice or musical ability, but I do get compliments...so I can't disregard that..


here I am drinking a chai tea & eating some cake...my sweet tooth & me...I know my ramblings are starting to become an excess...

I just hope I don't get fat from all this food...

i am really full on food...

too much eating---i must stop all these addictions...

thoughts of the day

I feel so shitty today---

I am carrying this stupid fucking green bag around...

I have this surge of energy cos I have just recovered from the flu---& I have been miserable for four days...

I have some shit to do, so maybe that is why I am pissed off---I am doing something about it--no time to think about girls--

I am unhappy with my clothes...

need to get this dry cleaning done---I just hate carrying shit around---this anger I have---listening to lyrics---Open by the cure, The End by the doors

Showroom Dummies...Kraftwerk

I should do a podcast @ the cafe...

What about my fone---I need to spend more time organizing my shit, that's the problem, I just don't do anything---

Do I feel lazy...so irritable today---@ least I have had a haircut & a shave...

I need a place to hang out to do my work...

I suppose I spend time researching on pop stars....

the effect of multimedia...

can i make poetry...

I am so confused ----the messages...

what sense can I make of all of this---do I want to be this lazy guy...everytime I feel lazy I must move on---I am over being sick, which is fantastic...

@ least I have some cash to do stuff with---not wasting it---I mean I did buy a mic but that has a lot of purpose particularly with my voice...

The only thing I need to do is to strategize with this chick @ the train station in the morning--

so funny she was away for a few days, & then yesterday she hid---but today she felt more confident, followed me right into the carriage...

funny...how girls are like that, all shy @ first & then they want to rise to the challenge...

fucking wrong charger---so pissed off today...which happens often when I have a surge of energy....

but @ least crown tomorrow---to sing Karaoke with a live band...

I think I saw my cousin @ the station---is she trampin' school--she was sitting with some guy @ least---what do I have to say---@ my age I ain't to responsible....

I sort of hate southern cross station as well cos it is this man-made concrete ugliness next to the docklands....
'
the clothes that sets your class---a suit, a hospitality uniform,

Funny how with a surge of energy I get this drive---I have anger @ myself---like something has passed; before I was tired & miserable---such a nice feeling---I am feeling hot...

Thoughts

I am going to start really expressing my thoughts...

Lately I have become really interested in social engineering & the affect the web has with it....

My book is coming on well & I hope to finish it soon....

@ the moment I am happy with my palm t/x & sony ericcson t610...even though it is old tech, I still get a lot of use, I have a mobile phone plan that gives me 70 MGS which is plenty of access...

I can use facebook 24/7 which is the best social networking sight!!!!...There is no mobile version of myspace which is bloated anyway...Myspace is good for checking out new music, but facebook gives cool info on what your friends are doing...Really social networky!!!!

Cheers

bloggness

I don't know who is reading this blog.....It's probably just me---but I am going to have to start syncing all this stuff with my book I am writing...It's all this web 2.0 social networking stuff I am doing...

video casting

Hey I want to try & do some video casting...

I am looking @ getting a canon power shot & just simply uploading it every day in HD...

I'll keep you posted...

I don't know if it is good to get, should I get a laptop, can I edit it on my palm t/x...

First Blog

Hi Everyone...

This is my first blog---

I will be talking about some shit on this blog....